It’s been a difficult and trying (see what I did there? ) month and a half. I received some not-so-great medical news which sent me into a bit of a downward, emotional spiral. I’ve struggled with mental inconsistencies my entire life, thanks in part, to my solid genetics. My father and his family have grappled with their various mental disorders for as long as I can remember.
I’ve previously been diagnosed with PTSD and bi-polar disorder. I share this because I believe that my mental hurdles have a great deal to do with my physical ones. I’ve never been addicted to drugs or alcohol — food has always been my vice of choice. I remember seeing my mother upset and watching her drink red wine or eat a devil dog. I’m not placing blame, but rather acknowledging my learned behavior. Baby see, baby do. It feels impossible to break a life long habit. I’ll be able to stay strong and live a healthy life style for 3 days…perhaps 4, but as soon as I hit any sort of turbulence, I nose dive straight towards the sugar.
I need to get myself back into therapy and learn how to properly cope… and properly live. Follow all of my trials and tribulations on instagram @myyearoftrying